Sunday, September 12, 2010

To a Dad, From a Daughter.



My soul is quietly coming to terms with the very real probability that it is about to say goodbye to my dad.  I can continue to hope with my heart that he'll make a full recovery, but even if his body comes back around, there are somethings that are just changed and gone.  Just about every word in Cinjun's song, "Wish," speaks to what I'm going through right now...except the part about "you'll always be my best friend"--my dad and I never got around to that point, but after years of distance, we finally got to the place of finding each other, and that's something, because both of us are stubborn and don't easily forgive enough to come back to a place of openness to those who wrong us.  The older I get, the more similarities I see between us--some pretty good, some not so much...how my mom lived under a roof with two Scorpios who started life as crotchety "old crows,"  I'll never know.

He'll "always be completely in my heart" though, and if I could talk to him right now, I'd tell him "Let all my love surround you, it goes all the way around you.  And I was so glad I found you.  Why did you go?  Little bird, carry on.  I'll be waitin' for you at home..."

And to Cinjun, thank you for putting a soundtrack to the thoughts running around in my head and heart that I can't quite get out.

Also See:
-It Is Written; It Is So.
-Holidays, Duct Tape, the 18th, and Dad.